Farewell

I've been dreading this for awhile, but it's come the time to do it:

I'm putting this blog to rest. I originally started this blog just over a year ago when I moved back home and started working at a movie theatre. This has been a great place to vent my frustrations at stupid movie patrons and generally get my thoughts out. It's definitely served it's purpose, but now I'm heading on a new adventure (literally) and I will be posting elseware for 2 months, and it just seems like the best time to fully move on.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for commenting.

For more great reading, check out The Girl Also Blogs and Champagne Rising.

"That girl"

I've been debating for awhile on whether or not to write about this topic, but you know what? This is my blog, and I feel like I shouldn't have to censor myself on it.

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. My last relationship, to be completely honest, was an abusive one. Not physically, but emotionally and otherwise. The more I think about it, the more I believe it, too.

I've been struggling with my supposed stupidity, of staying in the relationship for so long and for putting up with it. How is it that the best of us get into these situations and can't seem to get ourselves out? We all say it'll never be us, that we're too smart to get into a destructive relationship.

But I stayed in it for three years. And I have a hard time believing that the way I was treated wasn't my fault in some way. The things I felt pressured to do for this person is above and beyond anything I ever imagined I'd do — with anyone — and I'm ultimately ashamed at the experiences I now can check off.

In some ways, I'm disgusted with myself. When I think of the things I did, the things I convinced myself I did and didn't feel and the mindgames I put myself through, I feel way too wise for my age. I've found myself lately being that girl. You know, the girl who's been in the ugly relationship and survives, if only for the sole purpose to warn other girls that it can happen to them, too.

I don't like being that girl, though. Sure, I like being wise and learned enough to give sound advise, but was it worth three years of suckiness to do so? But I guess no one really likes to be that girl.

I wish none of us had to be that girl.

Karate CHOP!

My nephew kickin' ass! He makes me feel all giddy inside!

"Listen to your heart — that's what I do."

I'm like a superhero. It's true. I'm not trying to sound (extra) cool or anything; I'm just stating a fact. "Well, if you're a superhero," you ask, "then what's your super power?"

And this is where things get interesting. I kind of have a lack of intuition. That gut feeling that everyone supposedly gets from time to time that tells them today would be a good day to stay home ('cause they have a "gut feeling") — yeah, I don't have that.

Well, that's not entirely true. I have those feelings; they just have an accuracy rating of zero. That's right — in all of my years "trusting my gut," not once has it ever been to my benefit.

Which brings me to my point: recently I told some of you that I had this feeling, this feeling I've never had before. This feeling is something I've tried many times to fabricate, but this time it felt real.

But I'm now getting the thought that maybe I was duped. Again. But who knows? With my track record, it's entirely possible that this new feeling about that feeling is faking me out. So, just don't hold me to that feeling, in case it was a total farce.

Clippings

My mum loves to send me clippings. She thinks she's turning into her mother, sending me an envelope full of clippings like Grandma does to her, yet I always tell her I like receiving them. It's lovely knowing that my mum thinks about me when doing everyday things!

My last relationship ended at the beginning of January; soon after, I received a Dear Abby clipping from my mother, written by a girl in a situation similar to mine. Granted, my break-up was much more than this one issue, but whatever.*Mum actually sent me the clipping thinking that I could send it to my ex — I actually thought about it, but didn't want to use my precious stamps and have to write an accompanying note so he didn't think I was being harsh.

The clipping ended up on my desk, where it has stayed for 2-3 weeks. It's time to toss it, so, knowing that the ex occasionally visits my blog, maybe he'll read it here. Otherwise, for your enjoyment:

Dear Abby:
My boyfriend has a hard time in social situations. He dislikes people
in general and needs a lot of alone time.
I am the complete opposite. I need a circle of friends around me in
order to be happy. How do we find a balance between the two? — Clara in
Chicago

Dear Clara:
It may not be easy. I find it unlikely that someone who "dislikes
people in general," "has a hard time in social situations" and is basically a
loner will change. My question to you would be, how much are you willing
to compromise, and would you be comfortable socializing alone?

Thanks, Mum! You know just how to cheer me up!

*I also want to clarify that my ex doesn't "dislike people in general" like the boyfriend in the article.

Locks of Love

Yesterday, I'd finally had it with my long hair. It's become so unmanageable, taking me a half hour to shampoo and condition it (well, mostly condition) that I just decided that it was time to donate. Now, don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with the hair itself; it just gets really tangly. Like, for instance, yesterday in class. We were watching a movie and the ENTIRE class, I was working to detangle a certain section of my hair. That's two hours, folks!

I came home from class two days ago and, once I took my hat off, I realized my hair was all over the place. Loops of hair were sticking up randomly everywhere! It was crazy!

Anyway, here's my before:
Right after she lopped off the pigtails:
And here's my new 'do! While looking at it last night, I realized that my face is pretty fat, so I'm off to the IMA! What a motivator, eh?

I was really hoping for a less stressful quarter

It's the second week of the quarter and the stress hasn't let up yet. I had some trouble with financial aid, which thankfully was resolved by Friday. The real stress, though, is the current state of my job. As I mentioned before, I work as a part-time nanny, and just recently I was hired to as a copy editor for The Daily. I've been wanting the job for awhile and I love it. I've worked only three shifts, but it really doesn't seem like work (which is the first time I've been able to say that since lifeguarding in high school). The problem that's come up is that my nanny job just went from 0-10 hours a week to what's turning out to be 30+ hours. On top of full-time school, fundraising for Bike & Build, training for the trip and six hours a week at The Daily, I'm really starting to melt.

In the past two weeks, I've gone to sleep once before 3a — that was last night, I think (I'm having trouble keeping track of days). Waking up and getting out of the house before 8a to pick up Alice and take her to preschool, coming home and circling Greek Row in search of a parking spot is really starting to take it's toll. Today it took me 45 minutes to find a spot. And four hours of sleep a night really isn't cutting it. Last time I had a job like that, it didn't take long for me to put in my notice.

What's more is that when I get crazy stressed out, I apparently clench my jaw, as I wake up in the morning feeling like I face-planted on concrete. I'm thinking of trying acupuncture, though I'm not sure if my insurance will cover it.

I know I'm kvetching, as Jessica says. I also feel bad for not posting since the New Year; this post will have to tide you over until I have more time.

Resolutions!

Tonight, while counting down the hours 'til 2007 with my housemate Vincent, I found a program on TLC called "Resolutionaries" that shows three people each trying to tackle their resolutions with the help of three different coaches, all of whom have very different techniques. So far, I've seen three episodes: organization, quitting smoking and losing weight.

I'm not one for thinking myself worthless if I give up my resolutions too far into the new year, but I do like to make them, if only for tradition.

I have a lot to accomplish before my Bike & Build trip in June, so I'm going to need to be specific with my resolutions in order to prepare myself physically, mentally and financially for this trip.

• Be prompt with thank you notes
• Study every day
• Take a photo every single day -- suggested by Photojojo
• Each week, research a different aspect of the affordable housing crisis
• Take my pills every night
  

January

• Exercise on stationary bike and/or with personal trainer twice a week for 90 minutes or 25 miles
• Research Rhode Island and Connecticut towns en route for can't-miss sights
• Contact regional newspapers about a possible feature on Bike & Build

February

• Exercise on stationary bike (or equivalent exercise) three times a week for 90 minutes or 30 miles
  -AND-
• Explore a new bike trail in the Seattle area once a week
• Research New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio towns near our stops for interesting things to see and do

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

This is the first year that, when my parents asked, I had no idea what I wanted. Since my birthday is relatively close to Christmas (in late November), my parents ask early and often. In October, they start with "feelers" -- you know, the "your birthday's coming up!" and the "have you happened to see anything you'd like for your birthday?"s. Usually that's enough to get me talking. Once my birthday is over, I will end up asking for the things I didn't get.

In November, I asked for (and received) a down comforter; I've always wanted a comforter that didn't come with matching sheets (a la Bed in a Bag). Since I got the only thing I really asked for, I didn't know what to say to the after-birthday questions.

That was, of course, until I got the Bike & Build manual and it's accompanying list of necessities for the trip. After realizing there were no major holidays between Christmas and our start date in June, I frantically searched the list, looking for the most expensive things I was relatively knowledgeable about to ask for.

And today, after being convinced I would need to be purchasing one on my own, I opened up a digital camera and a cute little camera bag that'll fit in a saddle bag for my bike!

In no way am I trying to brag; I am only attempting to set up one of the papers in the camera box, which is an (not so subtle) attempt at marketing camera accessories. I enlarged the center picture in hopes it'd show more detail.

Message to Sony: Seriously...Whomever signed off on this picture needs to be demoted to the mailroom.

Thank God for Pull & Seal Envelopes!

After working on my fundraising letters for Bike & Build for over 7 hours straight (printing, signing, folding and stuffing) mostly by myself, I can finally say I'm finished!

After I finished printing out the letters, I realized that the itinerary that came in the rider manual had us traveling in circles around Iowa and the website had us riding to Missoula, building and riding to Missoula after we'd left Missoula that day. Hmmm. I might need to offer my copy editing skills.

Needing an accurate itinerary to include with my letters, I took an hour and a half detour (hyuck hyuck!) and made a pretty kick-ass one myself.

So there you go. Two shoeboxes full of envelopes, brochures, letters, itineraries and SASEs to Bike & Build. 139 of each, to be exact.

"While You Were Out" SunnTown edition

When I was about 13, my parents let me paint my room any way I wanted, as long as it consisted of pastel-type colours. And nothing, absolutely no colour on the ceiling! I was really a huge fan of the ocean and decided to paint the top half of my walls a light blue, as the sky, and the bottom half three different shades of beige. Yes, I know...how many shades of beige can there be? We actually painted a base color, and we sponge-painted two or three variants on top to make a sand effect. I picked out a seashell border to place between the "sky" and "sand". For an added effect, I glued seashells to the window frame and hung paintings and prints of lighthouses and ocean scenes on the walls. My parents went the extra mile and replaced my hideous carpet with my choice in colour -- teal, or as I liked to pretend, the ocean.

After my brother moved home from Japan and our exchange student went back to Switzerland, I decided to move into the room across the hall, as it's at least 1.5 times the size of my sea room. After the creativity and expenses that went into the other room, I kept my mouth shut about the white walls and ugly brown carpeting in my new room.

This year, though, my mum has gotten into a painting kick and, once my brother got married and moved out, promptly painted his room two dark blues -- something unheard of in my family. My dad had erroneously assumed that it was utterly impossible to paint over dark colours and long ago got us kids to believe that if we painted our rooms black, they'd never be able to put the house back on the market, so this was a big deal. Since completing my brother's room and realizing how little effort and money it takes to make a big difference in the appearance, my mum asked me to pick a couple colours she'd paint my room while I was in Seattle.

So tonight, I arrived home to find my previously bland, white walls painted a lovely pink and brown, which complements the two wall sconces and drapes I bought at Ikea last year! My mum is going to take me shopping on Friday to look for a comforter and some wall decorations to add to the decor.

I'm going to see if I can convince my mum to help me take down the peeling wallpaper in the bathroom at some point while I'm home. Before we do that, though, we're going to have to make at least a couple batches of fudge!

Home for the holidays!

It took me all day to get out of Seattle and a three-hour drive to get home, but with the four Podflix episodes to catch up with made the drive fly by (even though I was driving between 10 and 35 miles slower than usual).

I love the holidays! My parents have the house completely decorated, what with the little villages above the piano and entertainment center, the huge pre-lit tree (that I've finally come to terms with after growing up trekking into the mountains every December to find that special pine to bring home) and the coloured lights everywhere. This year, my dad's really gotten into the spirit of the holidays and hung faux garland on the walls in the living room and even on the banisters. I brought my 4 foot christmas tree home and might set it up in my room. I really like low lighting and leaving it on in my room in the evening will give the room a pretty glow.

I never thought I'd see the day...

when I'd find out someone found my blog by searching for "pet sharks with lasers on their heads". Usually, when I follow the link my tracker gives me, I'll discover my blog link quickly on the particular search engine. Yet I'm on page six of the Google search and still haven't found my blog. I'm confused as to why the blog reader didn't just go to this site.

Other interesting search queries that have led readers to my site:

• pain where my bra snaps on left side in back
• the real truth turbo jam
• how anne are you?
• you pale to (from a Swiss version of Google)
• kill a guy on A TRAmpoline (I'm ranked number three on this search...)
• occupations that involve creative, humanistic, thoughtful, and quiet types of activities
• "perform their job responsibilities in a manner that is supportive"
• cutting edge, informally paced, future-oriented environment

and two instances of "Upstairs Downstairs apartments U district" quite recently. For you two renters, don't bother. The Upstairs Downstairs apartments are really not worth looking at.

I now know another advantage of looking young: I can buy youth tickets for the ferries!

Since today was my first free day from finals, a new friend from two of my classes this quarter invited me to come with her to Vashon Island for the day. Vashon is the site of our last build day on Bike & Build P2S this summer, and since I live so close, I thought it'd be ridiculous to have not been there before riding across the country to get there.

Riding on the ferry was like putting a kid in a candy store. The last time I remember riding on a ferry was when I was like 7 or 8 years old and my family went to Vancouver Island, B.C. That being said, I made Jasmine suffer through many pleas of "ooh, will you take a picture of me here?!" and "Holy crap! We're on a FERRY!" Since she's lived on "the island", the ferry wasn't so exciting for her.

Shortly after we departed from the shore, I called my mum and told her, just as a ferry worker-man walked by. I looked up in time to see him mouth to my friend "Your friend doesn't get out much!" He returned a couple minutes later with a ferry guide, expressing his regrets that they were all out of coloring books.

Riding 26 miles makes me feel like I have mono

On Thursday night, I went to the IMA and rode a bit over 26 miles on a stationary bike. I took a break after an hour to stretch and then hopped back on for the last 8 miles. I've been slowly working my way up in miles over the past couple weeks (in preparation for my Bike & Build trip), but at the end of that ride, I was having trouble keeping my legs from shaking. Thus, this weekend served as a reprieve from exercising. Meaning? I pretty much slept most of yesterday morning and afternoon, as well as most of today.

When I wasn't sleeping, I visited my friend Jacy, who was in town over the weekend. She, her friend Erica and I went downtown to Pike Place Market, where we saw this lovely sign, which had us in giggles throughout the rest of the trip. Erica and I bought cute hats( she bought a beret and I found the cutest wool cloche) at an old-lady store underneath the fish market. Afterwards, we went out to a couple bars for some much-needed girl time.

Oh, on Friday, I got my highly-anticipated packet from Bike & Build! I now have more brochures and envelopes than I know what to do with, but once finals are over next week, I'll be able to put more time into fundraising! Plus, I meet with my new personal trainer on Thursday for our introductory session. I'll probably aim for 15 miles Tuesday night so I don't wear myself out before I meet my PT.