No, I'm sorry, we don't have "the 9/11 movie" at our theatre. We DO have World Trade Center, though.

In honor of the ending of my summer job, I'd like to add one last entry to the plethora of posts dedicated to the stupidity I deal with at work.

When I decide to pay to see a movie at the theatre, I have usually seen enough advertising for the movie to know a bit about the plot, the actors and occasionally the director. With commercials on tv, to reviews in magazines and weekly papers and often a great deal of chatter online, not only do I pick up on the plot and such, I am repeatedly bombared with the name of the film.

What I fail to understand is why people come up to the box office and have no clue what the title is of the movie they want to see. I'm not going to be picky and complain about the people that mispronounce Barnyard (Barn Jard), Poseidon (Poise-i-don, Po-sid-eon) or Talladega Nights (Tadellega) but I am slightly peeved when people have asked for Over the Edge, Invisible or Lady in the Lake/Pool.

What really gets me is the people that come up and basically make us guess which movie they're referring to. Sometimes, we have no clue; other times, we box office folk know which movie the customer is digging for, but act clueless watch them suffer and get frustruated. A couple examples:

1. An elderly lady came up and asked for a ticket to the Michael Douglas movie. Had I not already seen You, Me and Dupree, I could have really acted clueless, but she was old so I decided it wasn't worth it.
2. Someone asked for a ticket to "the car movie", but didn't specify whether they'd prefer the animated or live action film. Granted, if they had small children, I could safely bet on the former, but really, guessing can be quite tricky.
3. Along the same lines as the second example, two senior citizens requested tickets for the Meryl Streep movie. This would've been easy had A Prairie Home Companion and The Devil Wears Prada not been at our theatre at the same time.

The absurdity of the questions people ask us during the course of our shifts continues to baffle me. My co-worker was asked if John Tucker Must Die was a murder mystery. Another customer even referred to it as John Tucker Might Die. When The Devil Wears Prada was in theatres, I remember a set of parents asking if the film was a scary flick.

And, of course, I've already been asked on three different occasions what Snakes on a Plane is about.
Seriously.

I'm ashamed to say I honestly didn't even see that one coming.

Not much to report

It's been a week, but there's nothing much to report, other than I secured a part-time job as a nanny for the school year.

I kinda feel like there's nothing else for me to do but wait it out until I move (in two weeks). Work is still giving me about 10-13 hours a week, mostly weekends.

Since I've done the going-away-to-school thing before, I already have most of the stuff I'll need. The house has a full supply of cookware, plates and utensils, so I don't really need to bring my hand-me-down kitchenwares. And I already have all the lamps, sheets and decorations I need to make my new room cozy. So what else do I need to do/get to prepare? It's hard to make a check-list of things to pack when pretty much everything is going with me.

My parents bought me a refrigerator for my room and they still owe me a bike, as they gave mine to my sister-in-law (I'm not that heartbroken over it - it's purple and orange and says JAZZ! on it...not something I want to be seen on past the age of 13). I don't want to get a cheap bike, just something that looks like crap so no one will attempt to steal it. This old friend of my brother's moved to Seattle for college, and during his first quarter, bought a $600 mountain bike and promptly had it stolen. I'm not sure if he didn't lock it up properly with a u-lock, but whatever. The point is, this may be the best bike I'll ever be able afford, considering that I'm not paying for it, so I want to get a good one. My parents have been looking at Wal-Mart, Costco and Fred Meyer, but I'm hoping I can tempt them into spending much more than they planned and go to a bike shop to make the purchase.

Granted, I have no idea what I'm really looking for, so any tips would be greatly appreciated!

University District, 98105

While I was in Seattle yesterday for a doctor's appointment, my dad and I did a preliminary search for a room/apartment near campus. I brought various craigslist ads with me for reference and thought we'd just call some numbers from apartment building signs when we got there.

We finally found a spot on 17th near 50th to park the truck, my dad's Dodge Ram diesel extended cab, longbed pickup, and got ahold of the folks at Husky Place/Husky Court. I'm familiar with their rooms, as A used to live there, but I wanted to see what the "smaller" rooms look like and how much cheaper they are. For like $550, I could get a room the size of a large bathroom, or, for $650, I could snag a room about the size of 10'X15', with a private bathroom. The buildings are a half block from the university, but the electricity, cable and internet would be up to me.

The second place we saw was a room in a cute house just down the street from where we parked. It had a room for rent sign on the lawn. The landlord came to the property and showed us inside. The house has eight rooms I think, five bathrooms, newly painted interior and new wiring to include cable in each room. For only $585, I get the room and all of the utilities paid for. Not just water/sewer/garbage and electricity; it includes cable television and wireless internet. The only drawback is that it's two long blocks from the university.

We looked at one more place (as I said, this was just a preliminary search - we were planning to come back in a couple weeks to look again), the Upstairs/Downstairs Apartments. They offered rooms in 5-6 bedroom apartments for, um, I don't even remember how much. I was so turned off by the smell that I didn't really pay much attention. The apartments she showed me had wood paneling and generally reminded me of the Brady house (and not in a good way).

After my appointment, Dad and I came back to the U-District, met up with A, went for ice cream at The Mix and decided that the second room was just too good of a room to pass up. We called the owner of the house once more and coerced him into coming back to the area so we could apply and hand him a check!

Imagine a window behind the tree...this is my new window!

(The tree isn't there anymore)

The earliest I can move in is 3 September, but the landlord is willing to hold it for five days at his expense, so I don't have to start paying rent until the 8th.

Now I need to find a job, hopefully on or near campus,, and find a bike to take with me (my mum is demanding I return hers).

On another note, I quit my second job today. Back to the 12-hour a week cinema.

Note to self: let Nursing Assistant certification expire this year

So I haven't posted anything in almost a week. Reason?

I got a job working the graveyard (no pun intended) shift at a local nursing home last Tuesday and started Thursday night. Since that first night, I've been working 12-hours continuously (four hours at the cinema, eight hours at the nursing home) and have gotten by on just about four hours of sleep a day.

The job entails lots of specific unpleasantries* that I won't go into here for the sake of your lunches. When I accepted the job, I figured I'd be making rounds checking on the residents to make sure they weren't dead, as well as restocking gloves, bags and other necessities in the rooms.

What I failed to remember (having been a nursing assistant years ago) is that most residents in care facilities are incontinent, especially at night.** So, not only do I go to each room and replace water cups, I also check to see if the resident has soiled their briefs.*** Eighty-five percent of the time, I will be changing said briefs and repeating the action at least once more during the course of the night.

I won't go into the imagery for you to ponder, as I'm sure if you're willing, you could conjure up a fairly accurate, if simplified, mental picture. Don't forget to include rolling the (really heavy) person back and forth to position the linens and brief and you're pretty close. I'm not even mentioning how the activity smells.

I feel bad about it, but I'm already thinking of quitting. Changing my sleeping schedule so drastically has reduced me to a dizzy narcoleptic. I've even been having trouble focusing on my image when I look in the mirror.

I just don't know how much more I can take.

I was going to post a picture, but I decided that this related Saturday Night Live commercial parody was easier to search for.


*yes, I'm sure I'm making this word up, but I'm exhausted
**of bladder AND bowel
***a fancy word for adult diapers

I AM pretty graceful with The Golfer's Lift though

So I really hurt my back. At least two or three times I week lately, I wake up with an uncomfortable pain in the center of my back, right near my bra strap. The pain will usually last maybe twenty minutes or so and will go away when I fall back asleep or when I finally go get breakfast.

I came to the sad realisation that I have never flipped my queen size bed (the one I've slept on for at least ten years) even though I always sleep on the left side, so I enlisted my dad's help* in the venture while I finished my laundry on Wednesday evening.

Unfortunately, when I woke up Thursday morning, the pain was still there, though it was more tolerable (I think). On Friday, the pain returned and came and went all day, but by yesterday, it seemed to have gone after I exercised.**

Today, I woke up with the pain and it has lasted all day, even through four advils. I used a different, more supportive chair at work (instead of a stool) and stayed sitting in a comfortable position through as much of the day as possible. Sitting upright felt the worst.

I can think of only one reason left as to why I'm in still in pain since I*** flipped my mattress: Operation: Awesome Auntie. How could I have been subject to physical pain from the (seemingly) harmless techniques of brainwashing little children? Because I'm the idiot that never paid attention to safe lifting techniques at work and instead laughed at posters like these.

In trying to be the Best Aunt Ever, I scooped my little neice up in my arms every chance I could get. I even felt the little lightning bolts of pain (as shown here) a time or two.

Other than that, the only things really exciting in the past couple days is that I went to see Barnyard with my mum and Kaitlyn (so not worth it - even Kaitlyn gave it a yucky face), saw Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby with my dad (hilarious! - I pulled a muscle in my rib area from laughing so hard at the end) and I went to the store in my pajamas and bought Lucky Charms this morning.

In review:

• Always maintain proper lifting techniques
• Use a pro-active approach to mattress flipping
• Lucky Charms keeps the spirits up.
• Go see Talladega Nights. Shake 'n Bake.

*Actually, he did all the work. I was downstairs.
**for the first time in over a month
***Once again, Dad gets credit for this one.

Must.Sleep.Now

Y'all better watch out, 'cause I just joined the planet's Most Awesome Auntie award and I'm bringin' it!

Actually, I've been an aunt for almost five years, but due to being out of the loop for most of them, I'm at a disadvantage. Yet what's great is that my neice and nephew are now of the age in which, if I move quickly and stealthily, I can bypass the introductory stages and right into what's known in the inner circles as "Operation: Awesome Auntie".

How it works is beside the point (and full of trade secrets), but the objective is clear: flood the minds of the impressionable young children with messages, often subliminal, of love, compassion and coolness to accelerate my status to the top of the boards. However, I've talked with the higher-ups and they've given me clearance to share a few "insider secrets", if you will.

1. When the n/n (industry jargon for neice/nephew) comes into town, it's utterly imperative to cancel all plans and prepare.* Without this step in place, the visit could prove disasterous.

2a. Debrief everyone within earshot that you will now be referred to as Aunt (insert name here). Decide on a name to be called and stick with it. No changing to nicknames halfway through the game. These little people confuse easily and only setbacks will come from that.

2b. With name in place and n/n in tow, slip your new moniker in as much as possible. Tactics such as referring to yourself in the third person and even subliminal placement is covered in chapters five and six.

3. Get as much rest as you can, provided that you've already fulfilled your obligations of night-time duty (if n/n is an OnG - overnight guest).

And with that, I must heed my own advice and go to sleep. I was awoken around 4a to screaming from the other room and am now drifting into sleep again.


*The handbook goes into more detail in chapter 3, but since we're limited, let me explain: being prepared can be anything from meditating to baking cookies, even opening all of the cabinets in the kitchen. It's all individual, per the n/n's interests. Making an easy-to-use strategic flow sheet or spreadsheet has also proven fruitful.